Let The Dissatisfied Go (March 18, 2007)

Some years ago at my former church, an elderly couple, angry that I did not preach a Mother's Day sermon on the second Sunday of May, abruptly left the church. They signaled their displeasure not by expressing concerns to me or defending their actions, but simply by not showing up - and leaving undone their standard Sunday morning duties.

A few weeks later one of our board members asked me, "Have you gone to speak to [I'll call them] the Smiths?" I think I surprised her by saying "No," and letting the "No" hang there to indicate that I had no plans to see them either. I was aware that my predecessor in the pulpit had chased down a similarly malcontented couple back in the 1970s. Later he called it the worst mistake he ever made. He succeeded in getting them to return, but they thorned his side for another 20 years.

I believe it is an under-appreciated feature of Jesus' ministry that he simply let go those who were hostile or indifferent to him. In John 6:66-67, a large number of disciples turned away, and Jesus asked the 12 if they wanted to go too. In Mark 10:22 he let depart a good young man who loved riches too much. In Luke 9:57-62 he practically showed the door to a succession of individuals who placed conditions on their terms of discipleship.

And while much is made of the parable in Luke 15 where the Good Shepherd hunts down a lost sheep, it is important to remember that, in the context, "lost sheep" are the "tax collectors and sinners [who]were all gathering around to hear him " (verse 1) - not the Pharisees who were despising him, or the others scurrying away to avoid his condemnations of sin. In the parable that concludes that chapter (verses 11-31), the Compassionate Father never chases his prodigal son to a faraway land. He just lets him go - and remains ready and eager to receive him back.

I do not believe it is wise or biblical to coddle, cajole, woo, placate or pursue the disaffected. Our goal as a church is to assemble a body of believers who want to join together in common cause to serve and worship God. If some leave our fellowship to join another where their spiritual gifts can find better avenues of service - wonderful! Praise God! That is a bittersweet parting we can celebrate with gratitude. But if others stomp out angrily (or drift out lazily)because of personal pique, sin, loss of faith, contempt of God's command to worship - well, cold as this sounds - they are free to go. "If the unbeliever leaves, let him do so" (1 Corinthians 7:15). If the childish person sulks, let him stay in his room until he is ready to join the rest of us.

C. S. Lewis' wonderful fantasy novel The Great Divorce contains scenes where small, petulant souls are outraged to discover that, if they leave heaven, they won't be missed. This galls them. "How can my former loved ones be happy here without me? I'll show them!" they say. But their departure never diminishes the joys of Eternity. The faithful are able to go on praising God without missing a beat.