Tongues: A Modest Proposal

I have a strange desire that some of you might find really inappropriate. I wish I could be Protestant Pope for a day just so that I could declare with unquestioned authority what will be the church's position on tongues. Everybody would have to listen to me as I pontificate from the chair and settle the matter once and for all - and if anyone chooses to buck the policy he'd be guilty of defying the infallible word of the Pope!

Here in a nutshell is the problem with "tongue wars" today. The Southern Baptist Convention (for example) forbids its missionaries to speak in tongues even in private. This policy disregards a command of Scripture: "Do not forbid speaking in tongues" (1 Corinthians 14:39). When Pastor Dwight McKissic criticized Southern Baptist policy, telling students at Southwestern Baptist Theological Seminary in August that he himself prayed privately in tongues, the trustees met on October 17 and voted 36-1 to "prohibit professors or administrators from promoting charismatic practices, such as private prayer languages." (Christianity Today, December 2006, p. 17).

What part of St. Paul's "Do not forbid speaking in tongues" do these 36 trustees not understand?

Scripture teaches that tongues must not be forbidden, but they must be regulated. They are like erotic love: not prohibited (heavens no!), but restricted absolutely to the covenant of marriage. Plain restrictions on the use of tongues in public worship are found in 1 Corinthians 14:27-28: "If anyone speaks in a tongue, two - or at most three - should speak, one at a time, and someone must interpret. If there is no interpreter, the speaker should keep quiet in the church and speak to himself and God."

Walk into just about any Pentecostal or Charismatic church though, and you'll hear unregulated, uninterpreted babbling all around you. It is a mess and a nightmare and an embarrassment to uninitiated visitors. What part of "at most three...one at a time, and someone must interpret" do these Charismatics not understand?

Paul spoke in tongues more than anybody (1 Corinthians 14:18), but it appears he only did it in private. In public he preferred five words of real language to 10,000 "words" of ecstatic babble (1 Corinthians 14:19). Tongues were of limited public use because they only benefited the speaker and God (1 Corinthians 14:2,4,28). That made them appropriate for private prayer but a bad fit for corporate worship where everybody is supposed to participate.

But why bother speaking to God, even privately, in the "nonsense" language of tongues? Well, it is not exactly nonsense. Tongues are vocal but non-verbal expressions of joy, lament, praise, despair, gratitude, or whatever else might be in the worshipper's heart. On occasion they do the job better than words. We're all familiar with the concept when it appears in other forms. Cab Calloway randomized "scat" syllables to express exuberance; Frank Sinatra "do-be-do-be-do-ed" his seduction; my father whistled his contentment, and most of us groan our pain, sigh our pleasure, and "ugh" our disgust. Even at tongue-less Faith Bible Church, we go "la-la-la-la-la" for a while in one of the choruses we sing. In the spirit of 1 Corinthians 14:27, I hereby interpret that tongue to mean that we are happy to praise God.

Speaking in tongues is no big deal - neither angelic nor demonic. Some people have the knack for it, some don't. See 1 Corinthians 12:30: "Do all speak in tongues?" (No. The answer's no.) Those who don't have the knack (or gift) can probably learn it if they want to, and can add tongues to their private worship repertoire if it suits them. I've never bothered with it. Then again, I've never bothered with a lot of things (like "dancing before the Lord" - 2 Samuel 6:14) that are just great for those who can do them right.

To both Southern Baptists, who forbid what God allows, and to Charismatics, who indulge what God restricts, I say, "Oi vay. Ay yiyi. Jiminy Crickets." Which interpreted means, "Speak in tongues privately all you want, but if you're going to do that in church, the rules of 1 Corinthians 14 will be strictly enforced."

New Testament Standards For New Testament People (November 12, 2006)

The name of King David has been coming up lately in discussions among evangelicals. It always does whenever a leader falls as badly as Ted Haggard did recently. The template for the discussion seems to be that great men of God often stumble into adultery and other crimes when they let their guard down. It is understandable - they have all these pressures from being so great. Satan has put a big target on their backs, and tempts them a lot harder than he does you or me. When they fall, the important thing for us is to love them, and, despite our disappointment, forgive and restore them. We're not saying Haggard's sin was o. k. - it was bad of course - but so was the sin of King David. So let's forgive him and show how much we care for him.

Here's my problem with that.

It implies that nothing has changed with the coming of Christ and the giving of the Holy Spirit to the church. It suggests that despite the cross, despite new life in Christ, despite the outpouring of the Spirit at Pentecost, despite the inauguration of the Kingdom, we really should not expect our leaders and shepherds to behave any better than Old Testament kings and patriarchs.

I reject this pessimism. There is a fundamental change between the Old and New Testaments. The standard is higher now that Messiah has come.

Consider for example the sins of lying, stealing and adultery. Old Testament leaders lied often: see Genesis 20:2; 26:7; 33:13-17 and 1 Samuel 21:2 for lies of Abraham, Isaac, Jacob and David. Jacob was a thief (Genesis 27:35), Judah picked up a prostitute by the side of the road (Genesis 38:15-16), and David was an adulterer (2 Samuel 11).

But when you get to the New Testament, where do you see lying, stealing or adultery among the apostles of Christ or other church leaders? I can only find one lie, and that is when Peter was reduced to desperate prevarication in order to save himself from death by torture - Mark 14:66-72. (The other liars, Ananias and Sapphira, died
on the spot - Acts 5:1-10). There was only one thief among them, and it was Judas the Betrayer (John 12:6). As for adultery, there is no record of any apostle or church leader cheating on his wife. On the contrary, the unnamed adulterer of 1 Corinthians 5 was kicked out of his church, and repeat offenders were said to be shut out of the kingdom of God! (1 Corinthians 6:9-10; Galatians 6:19-21).

After the resurrection of Christ and the descent of the Holy Spirit upon the church, just what sins do you see among the apostles and church leaders? Well, Paul confessed to coveting (Romans 7:7-8). Peter refused to eat at a Gentile table (Galatians 2:11-12). John Mark turned back from a dangerous missionary journey (Acts 13:13). Compared to Old Testament iniquity, this is pretty tame stuff! Yet though these sins were relatively minor, they were dealt with severely: Paul agonized over his covetousness (Romans 7:14-24); he rebuked Peter to his face (Galatians 2:11,14); and he refused to give John Mark a second chance (Acts 15:37-40) until much later in life (2 Timothy 4:11).

That was for lesser sins! When it came to major transgressions, the New Testament response was "Die" (Acts 5:5,9); "May you and your money go to hell" (Acts 8:20); and "Hand him over to Satan" (1 Corinthians 5:5).

I'm really fed up with Old Covenant indulgence of New Covenant sin. I don't want to hear King David's example invoked next time we have on our hands one of those stinking preacher-adulterers like Ted Haggard, Gordon MacDonald, Jim Bakker, Jimmy Swaggert or Rev. Jesse Jackson. Enough is enough! The New Testament rule is in Ephesians 5:3: "But among you there must not be even a hint of sexual immorality, or of any kind of impurity, or of greed, because these are improper for God's holy people."

Endure Hardship (November 5, 2006)

Jesus said, "He who endures to the end will be saved" (Matthew 10:22).

He said "endure," not "float along on a cloud enjoying Your Best Life Now." Sometimes the Christian life demands endurance. I have often found that when I counsel distraught believers, my words amount to little more than variations on the theme, "Keep going." It is like that brutal quote from the film Platoon, where a squad leader says to a wounded soldier: "Take the pain."

Lately I have been in contact with a couple friends whose spouses belong to that ever-growing list of "demon-spawn-who-claim-to-be-Christians." (Boy there are a lot of those now, aren't there? Last week we added sodomite Ted Haggard to the list.) One faithful spouse said (I paraphrase), "I DON'T understand why things have fallen apart for me while things go so smoothly for my spouse!" I have heard this before. Years ago a pastor friend of mine, beleaguered by a hostile congregation, said (though at least he could laugh about it), "Why are they doing this to ME? I mean, there are all these pastors who are lazy or manipulative or addicted to porn - I could understand if THEY got this kind of opposition, but why in the world is this happening to ME?" We laughed together, but there was probably some pain in it.

Yet another wounded friend, responding to the Haggard scandal, wrote, "I read that Haggard The Horrible's wife issued a statement that she is standing by her man, and I think, 'Oh that's rich. The crystal meth-snorting PERVERT has a faithful loving wife, while I, a model husband (not bragging; it's just true) get my guts ripped out and plastered against the wall by a user [female dog].' It isn't right."

No, it isn't right. But what do you say?

For what it is worth, my biblical go-to guy in these situations is John the Baptist - my hero, my patron saint. John went from preaching to thousands to languishing alone in Herod's dungeon after courageously denouncing Herod's sin (Mark 6:18). There he became so discouraged that he doubted his faith, sending word to Jesus asking if he really was the Messiah (Luke 7:20). It must have driven John nuts to have his grand audience reduced to a single individual, Herod, who "liked to listen to him" (Mark 6:20), but who never repented. Surely at some point the thought crossed John's mind, "Why does SCUM Herod get to lie on a bed of ease while I waste away in prison? This isn't right!" Then he gets his head chopped off on the whim of a girl. (Mark 6:21-28).

But John was a holy man of whom the world was not worthy (See Hebrews 11:38). He was the greatest of all those born under the terms of the Old Covenant (Matthew 11:11). And the joy he now experiences in heaven is so great that none of us could bear it - only the soul of humble John is big enough to embrace the delights that God grants him in the presence of Jesus.

You probably don't have it as bad now as John did in his earthly life. So keep enduring.

Signs Of Revival (October 29, 2006)

Our hardworking committee has fixed a time and a place for a church-wide retreat: August 10-12 at Turkey Run State Park in Indiana. I rejoice. Turkey Run is one of my favorite places - I take the boys there about once a year for hiking and canoeing.

And the date is perfect! It is during the time of the Perseids meteor shower, which usually peaks in the early morning hours of August 12. Every year for the past five years I have wanted to go to some isolated spot far from Chicago to view it, but there has always been cloud cover, or a full moon, or I've had duties the next day which prohibited a middle-of-the-night excursion. Hopefully in August of 2007 I'll get to see the shooting stars I've missed for half a decade. I look forward to the pre-dawn sky-gazing already.

I'm grateful that our committee has made plain that the purpose of the retreat is not mere recreation but renewal: as individuals and as a church we want to draw closer to God. This is very good indeed. Every church has its strengths and weaknesses - one of our weaknesses is that we have tended to be better at assembling people for social events than spiritual ones. A retreat for the sake of pursuing God's will is exactly what we need.

But how will we know, at the end of it, if we have been revived?

I have three measurement criteria that will help us move beyond the subjective "That was so refreshing!" to the objective "That benefited our church and its ministries - we have moved closer to God." My list:

Prayer
I've pushed the Wednesday night prayer meeting for years now, but sadly it is still the case that I am the only member of Faith Bible Church who attends it. Will August 15, 2007, be the date on which my prayers are answered, and long-time members join with newcomers to praise God and offer their requests?

Tithing
I remain deliberately ignorant of what individuals give, but it is not hard to calculate that our weekly offerings still do not add up to 10 percent of what our people earn. Will August 19, 2007, see a dramatic spike in the church's income?

Hospitality
Someone indicated to me a while ago that Faith Bible Church was simply not ready to respond to my pleas to invite visitors into our homes. Will that change in the fall of 2007 after our summer renewal?

I choose to have high hopes and demonstrably fulfillable expectations about the results of next year's retreat. Of course, it goes without saying that if anyone prefers to get revived and renewed ahead of time, that's fine too.

Grieving Children (October 22, 2006)

I don't know what grief counselors do. Every time there is a tragedy at a school, the news media report that grief counselors have been made available to the students. I always wonder, "What in the world do they say to the kids?"

In the film The Shadowlands, C. S. Lewis' brother Warren berates him for not talking to his stepson, Douglas, whose mother, Lewis' wife, has just died. (I don't know if the scene has any basis in fact.) As I recall the dialogue, Lewis, in grief himself, says, "I have nothing to say to him." Warren won't let him off the hook. He shouts, "TALK to him!" Lewis obeys, and stepfather and stepson meet together and cry.

On a few occasions I have been asked to speak to distraught children. Though I talk for a living - it's what I do - it seems that this particular duty is one of many that reveal my inadequacy. In discussing one hard case with a pastor friend, he said, "I wouldn't know what to say." I thought, oh no. If he doesn't know what to say (and he's really good at this), then who does? A stanza from the dark theme song of M*A*S*H came to mind:

A brave man once requested me
To answer questions that are key
"Is it to be or not to be?"
And I replied, "Oh why ask me?"

Jesus made a point of welcoming children who were brought to him. "Let the little children come to me, and do not hinder them, for the kingdom of heaven belongs to such as these." (Mark 10:14). I don't know what he said to them. The text says that he took them in his arms and blessed them. Maybe he did not have to say a whole lot. I wonder if in that crowd of parents there were young widows whose lives felt ruined, or single dads whose wives had become whores. Was it all joyous, or did bereaved and wounded parents turn tear-stained faces to the Lord and say, "Would you please bless my child"?

Greet and bless hurting children. It is easy to bypass or overlook them, because you don't know what to say. Even so, speak to them. It may help.

Hospitality Works (October 15, 2006)

I'll never forget the Sunday when I was 13 and I went with my Baptist parents to visit a Christian Reformed church. We were looking for a new church and somebody had recommended this fellowship to us.

After Sunday School several people (deacons!) stepped out into the parking lot to smoke cigarettes. (Baptists don't smoke - our bodies are temples of the Holy Spirit.) Then during the service the pastor baptized a baby! I thought, "Obviously we're not coming back here next week."

Then in the car on the way home Mom and Dad shocked me by saying how happy they were with the worship service and the people. We went back the next week, and the week after, and became members. How in the world did Baptists wind up at such a non-Baptist church? Because the Word of God was faithfully preached and the people were unbelievably nice to us from the moment we stepped in the door. We were invited into their homes immediately.

Eight years later as a missionary trainee with Wycliffe Bible Translators, I arrived early one Sunday morning at a large evangelical church in Grand Forks, North Dakota. I hung around the narthex and went to Sunday School and the service. Not one person so much as said "hello" to me the whole time. Just before I left I was washing my hands in the restroom when the person at the sink next to me greeted me and we talked and I thought "Finally! Someone here has the courtesy to greet a visitor." But then he told me he was a first-time visitor himself. I never went back.

Two years later I arrived with my wife in Urbana, Illinois, and, out of some obligation, we visited a church that we had no intention of going to long-term. But we were greeted kindly and were immediately invited to a member's home, and that is the church we attended for the duration of our stay in Urbana.

Twelve years later when I was pastoring a church in Melrose Park, Illinois, I took a phone call from a middle-aged woman in the neighborhood who was distressed about some spiritual issue. We talked and I read to her some Scriptures. I invited her to come to church on Sunday, and she surprised me by saying she had visited before, but... "But what?" I asked. "I don't want to offend you," she said. "No, no, please, speak freely," I said, as I thought, Oh boy, what did I do now?

She said, "Well, the people of your church are so unfriendly!" and my heart sank through the floor. I knew she was right. More than once from the pulpit I had spotted visitors sitting by themselves in the pew, and afterward they would file out by themselves as church members gathered in their groups and planned where they would go for lunch.

When you're stung by a fair criticism it is hard to know what to say. I probably answered her along the lines of a commercial I've seen lampooning bad cell phone companies: "That is a problem and we're working on it!"

Be hospitable. I preach hospitality because it is good and right and sweet and pleasant and honoring to God. I also preach it because, frankly, it grows churches.

No Excuses For Inhospitality (October 8, 2006)

When I was installed as pastor of Faith Bible Church, I was asked what I expected of the congregation. I said, "I'll keep this simple and say just one thing: hospitality. When people visit the church, I want you to welcome them into your homes and take them out to lunch."

I know that I might have asked for other things, or given a list of "Top 5" or "Top 10" priorities, or mentioned an all-encompassing theme like "love for the Lord" or "devotion to Christ". But I made a deliberate decision to be specific. I wanted to give a quantifiable goal, something unique to my values (what you wouldn't necessarily hear from any pastor), something easily remembered, something we could look back on and ask, "How have we done in this area?"

That was three and a half years ago, and if I had to do it again, I would give the same answer. As Solomon asked God only for wisdom, so I ask the congregation only for hospitality. No one should be able to visit Faith Bible Church more than three times without being invited into our homes or out for lunch. Ideally this should take place on the very first Sunday the person visits.

Hospitality is hard for some people to practice - maybe even a nightmare for the very shy. But I will not for that or any other reason back off from my demand for it. Next week, Lord willing, I will give my rationale for this priority. This week I'll just speak to some common objections.

1) "My spouse refuses to have visitors in our home."
Then try inviting the person out for lunch at a neutral location.

2) "I live far away."
Ditto.

3) "My house is a mess."
Ditto. Or clean it. Or bite the bullet and invite them over anyway. Maybe their house is worse than yours.

4) "I'm single."
Then it may be difficult to invite a couple or family, and inappropriate to invite someone of the opposite sex. But you're ideal for inviting singles of the same gender.

5) "I value my privacy."
Shame on you. Stop valuing your privacy.

6) "I'm a social misfit - I can't imagine anyone wanting me to host them."
Welcome to the club. My social confidence is about a 2 out of 10. Look, sometimes social misfits visit the church. Maybe God has specially equipped you to connect with them.

7) "I just started attending here myself."
Great! That means that you haven't learned any of our bad habits.

8) "I serve the church in other ways."
Great! I thank God for you. Now start serving the church this way too.

9) "After the service on Sunday I'm busy/I work/there is a football
game I want to see."
Make an appointment with the visitor for later in the week.

10) "I just don't have the money to take someone out to lunch."
If this is your hindrance, then ask me, even at 12:10 PM on Sunday, and as surely as the Lord lives, with God as my witness, if I have it I will give you the money to take someone out to lunch that afternoon. And if I don't have the cash I will loan you my credit card. I'm serious.

Be hospitable.