St. Paul Confronts Stockholm Syndrome

In the counterterrorism training I received with Wycliffe Bible Translators we were told to be aware of Stockholm Syndrome in case we were ever held hostage. Stockholm Syndrome refers to the unaccountably warm feelings some people have for those who mistreat them from a position of strong control. The phrase comes from a bank robbery in Sweden in 1973 where criminals held hostages for six days. Incredibly, the victims showed signs of emotional attachment to their captors and even defended them afterwards. In America, Patty Hearst is regarded as the poster child for Stockholm Syndrome. She was kidnapped by the Symbionese Liberation Army in 1974 and became so attuned to her captors' ideals that, armed with a rifle, she helped them rob a bank.

In our training we were not told, "Look, Stockholm Syndrome is weird, and if you ever start feeling warm fuzzies toward your captors, just stop it." Rather, we were told that victims can turn this tendency into a useful resource. If you get along with the thugs who kidnapped you and even sympathize with them, your ordeal will be more tolerable and they will be less likely to kill you. The important thing is to be aware of your own mindset, and keep tabs on your psychological state. Don't let sympathetic feelings blind you to the fact that your kidnappers have done a bad thing. Don't excuse them or become like them.

Stockholm Syndrome is not limited to hostage situations. Elements of it can be seen in battered wives who remain devoted to their husbands and in college students who bond with upperclassmen despite merciless hazing. It's in churches too. It seems to me that some pastors have managed to Stockholm-Syndrome their pliant congregations, prompting outsiders to ask, "Why do they put up with that abuse?"

I think that the Apostle Paul confronted Stockholm Syndrome in the church he planted at Corinth. It drove him nuts. He could not understand why Corinthian Christians disregarded him while favoring leaders who exploited and abused them. How could they prefer such treatment to the care and respect he showed them? He vented his frustration in 2 Corinthians 11 and 12. An excerpt:

You put up with it when someone enslaves you, takes everything you have, takes advantage of you, takes control of everything, and slaps you in the face. I’m ashamed to say that we’ve been too 'weak' to do that!...How did I show you any less favor than to other churches - except that in your case, I never became a financial burden to you? Forgive me for this wrong!...Did I take advantage of you through any of those whom I sent to you? I urged Titus to go, and sent the brother with him. Did Titus take advantage of you? Did we not act in the same spirit? Did we not take the same steps? (2 Corinthians 11:20-21; 12:13,17-18)

You can hear exasperation in his words. "What's the matter with you, Corinth? I was good to you. Why do you dismiss me but submit to egomaniacs who stomp on you?"

No one knows how the Corinthians responded to that letter. I like to think that his plea woke up some of them and made them say, "You know, Paul has a point. He never exploited us. He cared more about us than he did about himself. Maybe we have been brainwashed a little. Maybe we should take a second look at these strong-willed teachers who trash Paul and line their pockets at our expense."

An awareness of Stockholm Syndrome has tempered my anger when, like my apostolic namesake, I have seethed over the injustice of some harsh or self-centered individual being preferred to me. (Am I delusional to maintain that I'm the one who has been kind and helpful?). But if I am treated with less affection than someone who has behaved badly, I'm certainly not alone. A beleaguered pastor friend once asked me, "Paul, why in the world are they doing this to me?" A conscientious parent broke down in tears of anger and anguish upon realizing that a child preferred the estranged and neglectful spouse. Forest Gump - if you will permit a fictional example - could only look on broken-hearted and bewildered as Jennie, for whom he would have given the world, got back on the bus and went home with the guy who hit her. Maybe Swedish cops who risked their lives to rescue hostages at the Stockholm bank saw them flee into the arms of their kidnappers. It happens. Don't take it personally.

Strange as Stockholm Syndrome might seem, I think there is a good reason why it forms part of the psychological makeup of some people. It is actually a gracious gift of God that can help us obey some difficult commandments. Jesus said, "Love your enemies, do good to those who hate you, bless those who curse you, pray for those who abuse you" (Luke 6:27-28). He said if someone "sins against you seven times in a day, and turns to you seven times, saying, 'I repent,' you must forgive him" (Luke 17:4). St. Peter said, "Servants, be subject to your masters with all respect, not only to the good and gentle but also to the unjust" (1 Peter 2:18). How can anyone be that kind, that loving, that forgiving, that deferential? It's almost impossible. You need God's grace, and God's grace usually operates through means. As a Civil War soldier needed plenty of whiskey before a surgeon could cut off his gangrenous leg, so we may need a good hard dose of Stockholm Syndrome before we can be good to people who have been bad. Let us not be surprised if sometimes we do not get the dosage exactly right.

Do not fret if you find masochistic traces of Stockholm Syndrome within yourself. Give thanks, and let that tendency do its work in helping you to forgive the unforgivable, love the unlovable, and do good to those who do little good themselves. Just beware that, in your charity toward evildoers, you do no injustice to people who have actually been good to you.

And if you are ever on the bitter receiving end of someone else's Stockholm Syndrome that has run amok - like St. Paul, or Forest Gump, or a Swedish SWAT team - be patient and rational, and try to sympathize even though it galls you. At the right time you may be able to vent your feelings like Paul did to the Corinthians, and you may be heard, and heeded, by those who are at last ready to listen to reason. Even Patty Hearst eventually came around.