What Gays Should Have Done At Chic-fil-A on August 1.

I think my gay friends made a couple mistakes in pushing back against Christians who thronged to Chic-fil-A on August 1 in support of CEO Dan Cathy's opposition to homosexual marriage. The kiss-in on August 3 didn't work well - I think it was needlessly provocative, and the meager participation only contrasted with the committed show of force on the other side. Another misfire was a captioned photograph I saw of a long line at Chic-fil-A that read, "You'd never see that many Christians lined up to help at a food bank or homeless shelter." That strikes me as a frontal attack on a well-defended point. Food banks and homeless shelters are a staple of Christian charity, and thousands of Christians work at them and support them every week. Even the small church I attend (about 25 people) has prepared over 1700 lunches this year for day laborers - many of whom are poor and homeless.

So I am going to tell my gay friends what I think they should have done to counter what may have appeared to them like a conservative Christian onslaught. Yes, I'm handing them a club and pointing out a weak spot and inviting them to swing away.

Gays should have very politely passed out the following survey to every adult standing in the long line at Chic-fil-A on August 1:

I am conducting a survey of people who place a high value on moral purity. Your answer is confidential and anonymous. Please do not sign your name. Thank you for your cooperation!

Did you keep (or have you kept) your virginity till marriage, and, if married, have you had sex only with your spouse? Please check one.

1) Yes.

2) No.

3) I prefer not to answer.

Then having thanked kindly those who participated, all that my gay friends had to do was publish the results. For example (to make up data): "I handed out 100 of these surveys to people standing in line at Chic-fil-A. Thirty responded, and of those 30, 10 said 'Yes,' 10 said 'No,' and 10 said 'I prefer not to answer.' Of the 70 who did not return the survey, an unspecified but large percentage shifted about and looked uncomfortable. Only 10 percent of those who seemed to support Dan Cathy's disapproval of homosexual activity were willing to affirm that they themselves had observed Christianity's traditional code of moral behavior."

Try the shame approach. If you shout at a conservative Christian he'll probably shout back (he's only human). If you flaunt in his face behavior he thinks is wrong he may turn away in disgust and think he's better than you. But if you can shame him with the realization that he does not live up to the standards he professes he might just get very quiet and leave you alone. And if he's a good Christian he will thank you and go off to say his prayers.

I wonder if responding to such a survey would have stricken consciences and even gotten some people to leave the line at Chic-fil-A on August 1. Maybe not. But there is a story recorded in John 8 where some men bring to Jesus a woman caught in adultery, and they ask him about stoning her, and he says, "Let him who is without sin among you cast the first stone." One by one they all walk away, presumably thinking, Who am I to condemn in another what I am guilty of myself? (It must be said that this story is of doubtful authenticity because it appears in virtually none of the earliest Greek manuscripts of the New Testament, and most Bible versions now rightly put it in a footnote - but no one disputes it is a good story!)

Even if the survey I recommend above would not have thinned the crowd at Chic-fil-A, maybe at least it would have set some Christians to thinking about the words of Jesus in Matthew 7:3, "Why do you see the speck that is in your brother's eye, but do not notice the log that is in your own eye?" It is a good thing for Christians to consider whether they themselves have kept the teachings of Jesus. It is always better to look inward and grieve rather than outward and protest.

I am the first to acknowledge that Christian sexual morality is difficult, and that it is even - to the extent that our natures are corrupt - unnatural. Few people have lived their lives in consistent obedience to its rules, and even those who have managed to do so have found themselves stubbornly resistant to the will of God in some other area. But the difficulty of following Jesus Christ - the chafing, the going against our grain, the constant subjugation of our desires - should not surprise us. Jesus said that following him would be like picking up a cross daily and carrying it (Luke 9:23), and that anyone who was unwilling to do that was not worthy of him (Matthew 10:38) and could not be his disciple (Luke 14:23).

God alone knows how many true disciples of Christ waited for two hours on August 1 to get a politically-charged chicken sandwich. Their motives probably varied: some presumably saw it as a protest against gay marriage, others more as a support for Chic-fil-A in the face of the attacks it was enduring from politicians intolerant of Dan Cathy's convictions. But all the people in that line probably regarded themselves as Christians. And it is always fair for a Christian to be asked, by friend and foe alike, "Do you live by the standard you preach to others?"