June 29, 2010: When Rightly Rebuked

Today I have a word of counsel that I hope none of you will ever have to use: if you are ever caught in a sin and rightly condemned for it, acknowledge that you have done wrong. Do not deny your sin, excuse it, or explain it, and for heaven’s sake don’t say, “I’ve put that behind me,” or, “I think we should just move on,” or, “I don’t want to dwell on the past.” Say these three words: “I have sinned,” and then be silent and wait for questions and further consequences. Answer all questions honestly and take all consequences humbly. Time – maybe years and years of time - will determine the sincerity of your remorse and the validity of your repentance.

The Bible shows a striking contrast between King Saul and King David when they were rebuked for their sins. When Samuel condemned Saul for disobedience regarding the Amalekites, Saul at first said, “But I did obey the Lord!” (1 Samuel 15:20). Bold-faced denial always seems to be the scoundrel’s first tactic. Who knows – maybe, if nobody presses him for details, he can get away with it just that easily. Unfaithful drug-abusing sodomite liar Ted Haggard tried the denial strategy for a few days in November of 2006 until it got crushed down by a ton of facts. I think that people like King Saul or Ted Haggard or Bill Clinton or Barry Bonds could pull a security fire alarm, get their hand sprayed with dye, and then raise that hand in your face and swear it was not red. See Proverbs 30:20: "This is the way of an adulteress: She eats and wipes her mouth and says, 'I've done nothing wrong.'"

When Samuel did not fall for Saul’s blanket denial, Saul switched to explanation. He said in verse 24, “I was afraid of the people and so I gave in to them.” There is a thin line between explanation and excuse. If you are asked, "Why did you do this?", then I suppose it is legitimate to outline the thought processes that led to your downfall while still taking responsibility for your action. But volunteering such information in advance sounds a lot like you are excusing it, or least softening it. ("You see, I had a good reason for acting as I did - I was under a lot a pressure, etc. If you had all those people clamoring in your ear and threatening mutiny you probably would have done the same.") Confess before you explain. I do not know that I have ever heard an explanation for sin that did not sound a lot like "This is not really as bad as it seems."

Finally, Saul decided he would apologize and get it over with so they could move on like nothing happened. In verse 25 he said to Samuel, "Now I beg you, forgive my sin and come back with me, so that I may worship the Lord." Essentially Saul was asking Samuel for a photo op. The people respected Samuel: if he appeared together with Saul it would confirm Saul's good standing. Saul made his request explicit in verse 30: "Please honor me before the elders of my people and before Israel; come back with me...". An insincere repenter always seeks to avoid the consequence of public shame. He wants to be honored just as he was before, and for that he needs you to forget everything quickly and not make a big deal out of it. Remember this, if you are fallen and dependent on others' grace: no offender ever has the right to say "Let's move on." Forgiveness may be given to you, but you cannot demand it; honor may never be given to you, and you should not even ask for it.

Compare Saul's response to David's when he was condemned for committing adultery with Bathsheba and killing her husband. 2 Samuel 12:13: Then David said to Nathan, "I have sinned against the Lord."

There it is. His words were very simple. There was no denial, no excuse ("Come on Nathan, she was taking a bath on the roof for crying out loud"), no rush to restoration ("You're right, Nathan, and I'm very, very sorry. Now I think we should all just put this unpleasantness behind us and move on, don't you agree?"). David's sin was evil, pure evil, and he acknowledged that plainly without trying to shift blame or negotiate terms of grace.

You will never fall as badly as Saul or David. But if you do fall, remember the following words so that you can say them without qualification and without looking to anyone's transgression but your own. "I have sinned. I have sinned against the Lord. God be merciful to me the sinner."