April 13, 2010: To Christian Friends Who Don't Go To Church

I understand - or I think I do. Over the past 15 years, the Lord has brought into my life a surprising number of kind, thoughtful, devout people who can't stand going to church.

You might think I'd be the last person to sympathize with you, given that I am the Ned Flanders of church attendance. I never miss a Sunday, I get to church early and stay late, I sit near the front. I am on record as saying that even if an unspeakable tragedy befalls me on a Saturday, the next day will find me in church worshiping the Lord. I preach with full conviction Hebrews 10:25: "Forsake not the assembling of yourselves together," and am horrified that A. W. Tozer and A. W. Pink (what is it about the initials A. W.?) both stopped going to church once they stopped preaching.

Yet I sympathize with you? I claim to feel your pain? Yes. Yes, seriously.

I'm not directing this at anyone in particular, so I do not know the specific reasons why you stay away. Maybe you long for sincerity, but at church you find showmanship. Maybe you want to embrace simplicity but are confronted with ostentation. Maybe you love to swim in the deep end, but the worship services of your tradition are a shallow splash indeed.

(One of the defining moments of my life occurred when my Protestant brother Dan, sitting next to me in a church where some giggling inanity was going on up front, leaned over and whispered, "I think I'll convert to Catholicism. At least the Mass has dignity.")

Or maybe you've just had some really bad experience. I've never known (I don't think I've ever known) anyone who was molested by a clergyman, but if I did I'm not sure how I could answer him who says, "I'm never going to church again. That's where I got raped."

I do, however, know of people who were judged, mistreated, or driven out of churches (or the ministry) by spiritual zealots who later renounced the faith or committed excommunicable acts. It is understandable if the victims of false brothers develop "trust issues" that make them wary of jumping back into Christian fellowship.

Or maybe in your case it's the darn music. I myself have practically bruised my knuckles gripping in frustration the pew ahead of me as we sing (I'm not making this up) "Yes Lord yes Lord yes yes Lord yes Lord yes Lord yes yes Lord yes Lord yes Lord yes yes Lord yes Lord yes Lord yes yes Lord". I bite my lip and wait for it to end, and try to remember that it may be the favorite song - and a God-honoring expression of praise - of some good soul who thinks that Isaac Watts and William Cowper suck.

No? None of these things has anything to do with why you don't go to church? OK, I'll move on to my point.

Christian, you must attend church. You are commanded to.

I'll not try to persuade you that you'll be glad you went, or that it will be good for you in the long run. I can't guarantee that. Nor will I try to persuade you that it would be good for others if you went - your family, your preacher, the church itself. (Even though that is almost certainly the case, and I've tried to make that point elsewhere, that is not what I am saying here.) Today I want to make my appeal on the simple basis of obedience.

What God commands must be obeyed, and you must not insist on some benefit for yourself before you will submit. Do not say in your heart, "I will obey if this helps me, or, if I like it." That is a certain path to corruption. Imagine saying that in defense of disobedience to some other commandment. "Yes, I know the Bible says not to bear false witness against my neighbor - but I don't like giving truthful testimony. Telling the truth doesn't make me happy - in fact, it kind of annoys me - and it certainly isn't my style." Well, no one is asking if you liked speaking truthfully. Of course, it is good to train yourself to love truth, but even if you never love it, speak it anyway! You must never allow your preference for slander and lies to become a warrant for indulging in them.

Here is another way of looking at it. If you are a Christian with a "non-ecclesiological orientation," then consider yourself a brother to all those poor, devout souls burdened with homosexual orientations. To follow Christ, they must deny themselves, say no to physical relationships they would cherish, and commit to lives of celibacy or heterosexual dissatisfaction. Your burden is far less than theirs (unless of course you have that struggle as well.) You just have to go to church on Sundays. It's not that bad. There are tougher crosses to bear.