January 13, 2009: My Surprising Take On Gay Marriage

I believe much of the evangelical church has made a mistake by publicly opposing the legalization of gay marriage.

Not because homosexual practice is acceptable for biblically minded Christians. It isn't. Leviticus 18:22 says that it is an abomination. Romans 1:26-27 calls it unnatural and indecent, worthy of punishment. And 1 Corinthians 6:9 mentions "male prostitutes and homosexual offenders" in a list of those who will not inherit the kingdom of God. There isn't a smidgeon of ambiguity about the matter in either the Old or New Testaments. Homosexual practice is a sin just like adultery is a sin, or stealing, or refusing to work to support your family, or dishonoring your parents, or exploiting the weak, or greedily accumulating personal wealth, or worshiping idols, or getting drunk, or refusing to help the needy. Lots of different kinds of sins are condemned in the Bible, and same-gender erotic love is one of them. If you want to be a Christian, you can't have gay sex.

I acknowledge that I personally have lucked out in this matter. I don't do gay sex because I am not tempted to it, and find that it is no sacrifice at all to avoid it. But I am supremely unlucky in so many other ways because I am genetically, naturally conditioned to love a host of sins. There are plenty of things (oh God, why so many things?) where it really goes against my grain to be a Christian. This should not surprise me though, because Jesus gave fair warning that following him was hard: "If anyone would come after me, let him deny himself and take up his cross daily and follow me" (Luke 9:23).

Crosses are not easy to bear, and anyone who thinks it's a snap to be a Christian doesn't have a clue about the sacrifice involved. Upon becoming Christians, alcoholics must bear the daily discipline of sobriety. Kleptomaniacs must learn to pay for their goods. Cowards must stand their ground while enduring ridicule and opposition. Hostile borderline personalities must try to love. Lazy people must work. The greedy must give generously. Horny people must limit themselves to one sexual partner. Frigid people must bear the burden of pleasing a spouse. And homosexuals must say, "Oh well. Darn it. Good-bye to all that, I guess." They are not alone. I deny that anyone is so naturally holy that, in following Christ, she does not painfully have to part with some sin, or, even more painfully, embrace a virtue foreign to her personality.

So homosexual behavior is one of many things that is out-of-bounds for Christians. But does that mean that Christians should push for laws that govern the sexual behaviors, preferences and alliances of those outside our community of faith? Not at all. I believe St. Paul speaks to the issue when he writes in 1 Corinthians 6:12: "What business is it of mine to judge those outside the church?"

If we really wanted Christian morality to be the standard of public law we would hardly stop at homosexual behavior. In fact, we'd start with more mundane things like fornication and adultery. But have Christians anywhere put a proposition on a state-wide ballot that forbids unmarried people to sleep together? Do we put adulterers in prison? Do we seek legally to forbid the remarriage of a man who divorces his wife without biblical warrant? All these things and more would be written into public legislation if we sought to identify the Bible's guide for Christians with our nation's code for citizens. It seems to me that practicing homosexuals have a point in saying, "Why are you zealots for Proposition 8 picking on me and my partner when, by your own standards, there is plenty of unaddressed sexual sin in your midst, and furthermore, the reason you're bringing the laws of the state to bear on our particular practice is because you can, because, with our numbers relatively small, you happen to be able to form a vast majority coalition with those who find our actions detestable?" Anyway, that's what I would say if I were a Californian non-Christian in love with a guy.

A sin is not worse just because it is rare or odd. In my judgment, a man who deserts or cheats on his wife is more evil than a man who has a life-long, monogamous relationship with another man. The latter, at least, has not betrayed a sacred trust.

Evangelicals paid a terrible price in campaigning publicly for the passage of gay marriage bans like the one in California. They won a "victory" there by a margin of 52-48, but were any hearts changed in the process? No. Instead, antagonisms were enflamed, and lines of battle more sharply drawn. Now Christians have a harder time getting a hearing for the proclamation of the gospel and the exaltation of Jesus. People who might have listened to Rick Warren talk about Christ are instead busy protesting his invocation at Obama's inauguration. (Because he came out in favor of Proposition 8, you see). I myself, as an evangelical pastor, have been asked by those unfamiliar with Christianity about the issue of gay marriage when I'd so much rather they be asking me about the divinity of Christ and his resurrection!

I don't believe the issue of gay marriage is worth fighting over. If asked (or challenged) about it, my attitude would be to shrug and say, "Go ahead and marry a fellow homosexual. I won't stand in your way. But it is something I could never do - even if I were constructed differently, and even if it were my heart's most cherished desire. I'm a Christian. I have to sacrifice lots of things to follow Christ."