The (Only) Reason You Should Not Sin (September 17, 2006)

Sin displeases God, and that is the only reason you should not do it.

A study from Focus on the Family claims to show that teenage virgins do better later in life than teenage fornicators. Interviews conducted over 20 years with more than 7,000 people show that those who still had their virginity at 18 wound up making more money, having fewer divorces, and getting more education than those who had lost their virginity by that age. Lead study author Dr. Reginald Finger said, "It is very much as we suspected - that adolescent virginity has a significant impact on well-being in middle adulthood."

So what?

It seems that the point of the study is to show that virginity is good for you. It is in your best interests to refrain from sex while young. You'll be richer and happier in the long run if you abstain now. Don't you want what is best for you? Of course you do. But I believe it is morally poisonous to make that a motivation for doing right.

First of all, because a nasty existential backlash can occur when our lives do not line up with statistical probabilities. Case in point: me. A friend of mine lost his virginity at 17 and had to marry his pregnant girlfriend. I kept my virginity till my wedding night and married in the Lord. How have things turned out for my friend and me two decades after our wedding ceremonies? His wife is a faithful helpmate and loving mother to their children; my wife renounced Christ and left me so she could go pursue a godless lifestyle. As for the financial yardstick that Focus on the Family uses to help determine "well-being in middle adulthood," my friend is doing well; I am not.

If I had let the prospect of middle-adulthood happiness motivate my chastity as a young man, then I suppose I would now be bitter against God precisely to the degree that I had expected him to reward my obedience. But I am not bitter, and I am not resentful. (I may be a sad lonely wreck - but that is not the same as being bitter.)

Secondly, regardless of how things turn out for us individually, it is still not right to make self-interest a motivation for being good. Suppose we lived in a very different statistical universe. Suppose young fornicators generally had happier marriages, longer lives, better jobs? What if Focus on the Family's study gave the "wrong" results? What would they say to young people then? (I imagine they would burn the results.)

These questions are not merely hypothetical. Twenty-four years ago I heard a Romanian pastor explain how he warned young converts that if they trusted Christ their lives would get worse. "The secret police will have a file on you," he said. "You may not be able to continue your university education. You won't get a good job - you may have to work as a street sweeper." He told us that many responded, "I know that. But Jesus died for me. How can I do any less than suffer for him?"

That is the kind of motivation for goodness that we must instill in our young people and retain in our own hearts. Obey God not because you believe it will make your life better. Obey him even when you know for a fact that it will make your life worse.