“Forgiving Yourself” Is A Bunch Of Nonsense (May 2, 2004)

I would like to speak against the doctrine that we must forgive ourselves.

I do not know how this doctrine got started. It is not in the Bible. As far as I can tell, it is not in the writings of any church father, pastor, theologian or evangelist before the latter part of the 20th century. I would be happy to stand corrected on this, and will welcome any quotes on self-forgiveness from before, say, 1960. My gut tells me that you won't find Augustine or Luther or Edwards or Wesley or Spurgeon or any giants of the past talking about our need to forgive ourselves.

Today, though, self-forgiveness is preached as a duty such that the failure to do it is considered a sin against God. Here for example are some quotes from influential pastors whose congregations number in the thousands:

"The past is over! God has forgiven you! Forgive yourself!" Ron Lee Davis.

"The bottom line is this: Not forgiving ourselves is wrong and dishonoring to God." R. T. Kendall.

"When we say that we cannot forgive ourselves, we depreciate the value of Christ's sacrifice." Erwin Lutzer.

I differ from these sentiments with a zeal that borders on outrage. Forgiving yourself neither honors God nor depreciates the sacrifice of Christ. Quite the opposite: it is an abomination, because it usurps the role of God.

One thing I have noticed in my research on forgiveness is that when Christian writers advocate forgiving ourselves, they never quote Scripture to support their point. The reason they don't is because they can't. There are no such Scriptures. In the Bible, when it comes to pardoning sins, God is the one who does all the forgiving, and we are the recipients of his grace. The Pharisees understood this when they objected to Jesus telling a paralytic, "Son, your sins are forgiven," for they thought, "Who can forgive sins but God alone?" They were right. All the sins that the paralytic had committed, or that anyone has ever committed, are crimes against God. God alone has jurisdiction over them. He alone determines what to punish and what to forgive. Therefore, claiming to forgive sins (except for that small subset of sins committed against us) is a claim to be God. Jesus' pronouncement of forgiveness was a none-too-subtle claim to deity.

We mere human beings simply don't have jurisdiction over our sins. We have committed them against God and others, and must beg their forgiveness and be grateful for their mercy. It is absolutely ridiculous - a sickening arrogance, to forgive ourselves. The best we can do is recognize that we have been forgiven. But that is as far removed from "forgiving ourselves" as "recognizing that we are saved" is from "saving ourselves." This distinction is not trivial, it is not a matter of semantic pickiness. Grace, like salvation, must never be regarded as reflexive or self-generated. It is all one way, from God to us.

I am willing to grant that when Lutzer and Lewis Smedes and others tell us to forgive ourselves, they don't really mean it. They are not guilty so much of advocating a monstrous usurpation of God’s prerogative as they are of using the word "forgive" a little carelessly. Even so - even granting that point - I still disagree with what these Christian writers seem to be saying when they urge us to self-forgive.

As best I can make out, they are saying, "Stop beating yourself up over past wrongs. It is time to move on. Forget the past." In the words of Ron Lee Davis, "If you have been unable to forgive yourself for some sin in your past,...then [the Apostle] Paul would say to you, 'The past is over. Forget what is behind. Move out into the future with your eyes fixed on God and His love.'"

That is garbage. The Apostle Paul would say nothing of the kind. It is abundantly clear from his writings that the one thing he never forgot was what a terrible sinner he was. Some 30 years after his conversion, toward the end of his life, he wrote to Timothy saying, "I was once a blasphemer and a persecutor and a violent man," and, "Christ Jesus came into the world to save sinners - of whom I am the worst." He dutifully revisited this truth to the very end - and rightfully so, because the memory of his great sin was a constant reminder of God's great grace.

The most recent issue of Christianity Today tells the story of John Newton, author of "Amazing Grace." Newton had been a captain of a slave-trading vessel, and, even as a converted Christian, continued for years ferrying slaves across the Atlantic. He would read the Bible and commune with God in his cabin while up to a third of his "cargo" lay dying in the hull below. Later, Newton gave up the slave trade and became an abolitionist. God forgave his slave-dealing, but Newton never forgave himself. Professor Mark McMinn writes, "As Newton's eyes opened more fully with each passing year, he became horrified at his sin. One of his friends later recalled that he never spent 30 minutes with Newton without hearing the former captain's remorse for trading slaves. It was always on his mind, nagging his conscience while reminding him of his utter dependence on God's forgiving grace."

That is as it should be. We don't forgive our sins, and we don't forget them. Let them serve, as long as we live, as reminders of God's grace and as spurs to provoke gratitude for his love.