Sibling Love (September 7, 2003)

In studying through Genesis it dawned on me that a recurrent theme of the book is brothers who don't get along. Sibling animosity erupts as soon as there are siblings. Cain killed Abel, Ishmael mocked Isaac, Jacob cheated Esau, and Joseph's brothers faked his death and sold him into slavery.

I think of Rodney King's simple plea, "Can't we all just get along?". But I know it is not that easy. If your brother is evil it is hard to be his friend. Read John 7:1-7 where the brothers of Jesus mocked him, telling him to go to Jerusalem if he really wanted to make it big as a prophet. Certainly they knew that people are waiting to kill him there (see verse 2), but you get the feeling that, like the brothers of Joseph, they would not have minded seeing their brother dead. Jesus responded that he was on God's timetable but they were are not, and that he was hated by the world (though they were not) because he testified against sin.

So not everyone (not even Jesus!) can have a good relationship with all his siblings. But try. Psalm 133:1 says, "How good and pleasant it is when brothers live together in unity!" I can't tell you how grateful I am for the love that my two brothers and two sisters and I share for each other - a love that has deepened now that our parents are with the Lord and our connections are lateral rather than triangulated by a parent. I hope my sons Ben and Peter can share a love like that as they grow old and my wife and I die off. I have told them explicitly that, even if they wind up on different sides of the country, they must call each other frequently and maintain contact. They are brothers. If one needs a kidney, the other donates. I was happy to hear Ben say, "Of course!"

I'm a little self-conscious making this point as a Caucasian to my mostly Asian congregation (like I've got anything to say to the Chinese about the importance of family ties!). But maybe it is worth pointing out that, as the third generation grows up on American soil, it will be more and more tempted to reflect American values (or lack thereof). America has many strong points, but the sibling bond is not
one of them.

Unbelievable - I'm not making this up - just as I finished typing that last line I heard Ben's voice downstairs saying, "Shut UP! I'm going to smash your face!" It turns out Peter was provoking him, but not quite enough to deserve getting his face smashed. I lectured them both, and said, "Do you know what I'm writing about for the Pastor's Page right now? Right this minute?"

"Not fighting?" one of them offered.

"Close. I’m writing that siblings should get along with each other."