1. Find out beforehand what previous preachers have talked about so that you do not duplicate them. This requires just a one-minute phone call or a two-sentence email. After you learn what has been preached on and what - if anything - is planned for the near future, then submit your text and theme and ask if you can preach on that. This is a duty so basic that you would think it wouldn’t have to be spelled out, but I’m afraid it does. Some years ago I preached from a text and the speaker who followed me (over whom I had no control and who never contacted me) preached from the same text the next Sunday. A few weeks ago I was dumbfounded by an even more egregious example. A guest preacher told us that he had recently filled a pulpit where he was informed that the two previous speakers had selected the same text that he would be preaching on. Undaunted and unashamed, he concluded that God must have really wanted the congregation to hear that text! No, no, no, no, no. What he should have thought was What is wrong with me? Why am I so lazy and undisciplined that I can’t even pick up a phone and ask somebody what was preached on last week? Why am I so contemptuous of congregations that I feel I can annoy and bore them and then blame my irresponsibility on God? God, help me to learn from this embarrassment and get it right next time.
2. Know beforehand how much time you are allotted, and abide by it. On countless occasions I have heard a preacher pause to ask, “How much time do I have left?” and when that happens I went to get up and walk out. Such a question demonstrates an inexcusable failure to prepare, and, again, contempt for the audience. It suggests that the preacher has so little regard for his own message that, oh, well, he could jabber on for another 20 or 30 minutes if he has to fill up the time - or he could call it quits right there. Whatever. With that question he has told you that there’s no beginning, middle and end to a reasoned discourse where one sentence builds upon another and the thoughts flow naturally to a predetermined conclusion. He's just winging it. The next time I hear that “How-much-do-I-have-left?” question, I may not be able to suppress the urge to shout out, “Your time is up NOW!”
3. When you get to the pulpit, start preaching.
I mean it. Just start preaching immediately. If the Scripture text has not already been read, then a good rule of thumb is that the first word that leaves your lips upon arriving at the pulpit should be the word “Our”, as in, “Our Scripture text is Matthew chapter 3, verses 13 to 17.” Read it, and then start expounding the text as if your life, and the souls of men, depended on it.
Do not introduce yourself. I know everyone does it, but it’s a mistake. Listen, miserable sinner: You don’t matter, God does. His Word does. Get yourself out of the way and let the Word speak. Remember the words of John the Baptist: “He must become greater; I must become less” (John 3:30) and the plea of Gentile seekers in John 12:21: “We want to see Jesus.”
Do not tell us about yourself (not even your name!), where you’re from, how many kids or grandkids you have, what sports teams you root for, what is happening in your ministry, what your feelings are about this weather we’ve been having, what your flight was like, or your impressions of the church sanctuary as you walked in. Stop it stop it stop it. Tell no jokes, engage in no banter, and bite your lip till it bleeds to keep yourself from droning on with the inane drivel that sadly characterizes just about every doggone guest preacher I’ve heard for the past few years. Shock your audience with the seriousness of your purpose by opening your mouth with the immediate, focused, unfettered proclamation of the Word of God.
