There are many things in this story that are worthy of attention, but I am focusing on just one thing, the prayer of Abraham for Abimelek. Why was that prayer prayed? Why was it commanded? What can it teach us about prayer when compared to other Bible passages?
Abraham was an immigrant in an area that he thought was dangerous. He did not trust the locals. He had a beautiful wife, Sarah, and he felt he knew what happened to beautiful women in that area. They were taken into the king’s harem. And if that beautiful woman was married - especially to a friendless immigrant - that was no obstacle. They would just kill the husband and cart the woman away.
That is what Abraham was afraid would happen to him and Sarah. Was Abraham right to be suspicious of King Abimelek in thinking Abimelek capable of murdering him just to get at his pretty wife? Maybe. After all that is pretty much what King David did a thousand years later – he killed a guy to get at his wife. And David was a loyal servant of the Lord God of Israel. Abimelek was a pagan with no connection to God that we know of. Abraham said in verse 11, “I knew there was no fear of God in this place.”
The rest of the story shows that Abraham was probably wrong in his cynical appraisal of King Abimelek. What little information we have in this chapter suggests that Abimelek was a man of integrity relative to his time and culture. But Abraham did not know that. And that is why I am willing to cut Abraham some slack rather than condemn him as a cowardly fiend who trafficked his wife in order to protect his own hide. I have heard Abraham denounced like that by many Christian teachers. It may be a valid criticism of him. But it is also possible that Abraham reasoned like this, saying to his wife:
“Sarah, one way or another you’re going into Abimelek’s harem. I can’t stop it. But this can happen one of two ways. With me dead and unable to help you in the future, or with me still alive hanging around the outskirts, waiting for an opportunity to spring you so we can resume our life together. If you would tell people you’re my sister, I can live for another day and eventually figure out a way to rescue you from the harem.” That is possible. I don’t know. What I do know is that Abraham prayed a prayer in this story that was answered, and that is what I want to highlight.
King Abimelek took Sarah into his harem. As a result, God afflicted Abimelek’s household with barrenness. The women were unable to have children. Then God spoke to Abimelek very bluntly. God said to him, “You’re a dead man, because you have taken a married woman into your harem.”
Abimelek protested his innocence. He said, “I didn’t know she was married. Her husband lied to me. He said they were brother and sister. I’m innocent!”
Notice then what God did not say in response. He did not say, “Oh. You didn’t know? I’m sorry. My bad. Now that I am better informed, I’ll fix the situation. That sure was a close one, wasn’t it, Abimelek? Good thing you told me. I’m so glad I didn’t act rashly and kill you on the spot.”
No, Abimelek did not tell God anything he did not already know. That theme will come up again. God said, “I know you’re innocent. That’s why I did not let you touch her, just in case you were wondering why there was always some obstacle whenever you wanted to consummate the relationship with her. That was me acting behind the scenes to protect both of you. Now, return the man’s wife.”
It would seem that things could wrap up nicely right there. But they don’t. God had one more item on the agenda. He said to Abimelek, “Abraham will pray for you, and you will live.”
If I were Abimelek, and if I dared to speak back to the Almighty, I might say, “God, no disrespect, I’m not complaining, don’t get mad – but I don’t understand. Why does Abraham have to pray for me? You already know the situation. You know that I’m innocent. And I am giving Sarah back, I’m not touching her. I’m even throwing in 1,000 shekels and telling Abraham he can live anywhere he wants in my territory. Isn’t that enough? Why do you want Abraham’s prayer in addition to all that? He can’t tell you anything I haven’t already told you. And I’m more honest than he is. You don’t need that liar telling you what to do.”
One thing I cannot do is give God’s precise answer to those hypothetical questions. I don’t want to put words in God’s mouth.
But what I can do is see from Scripture that God requires prayers. Prayers he does not need. Prayers that don’t provide him with information he does not already have. Prayers that don’t counsel him so he’ll have a better idea what to do. He already knows the right thing to do. But for some reason, rather than acting directly to restore Abimelek’s household to natural fecundity, God said, “I want Abraham to pray for that. Then I will respond to his prayer.” To complete his action, God insisted on the prayer of a weak, sinful, foolish mortal.
That is not the only time this happens in the Bible. We see it again in Job chapter 42. Job suffers horribly and three of his not-so-helpful friends blame him for it. Their names are Eliphaz, Bildad and Zophar. Starting at Job 42:7 God says to Eliphaz, “I am angry with you and your two friends, because you have not spoken the truth about me, as my servant Job has. 8 So now take seven bulls and seven rams and go to my servant Job and sacrifice a burnt offering for yourselves. My servant Job will pray for you, and I will accept his prayer and not deal with you according to your folly. You have not spoken the truth about me, as my servant Job has.” 9 So Eliphaz the Temanite, Bildad the Shuhite and Zophar the Naamathite did what the LORD told them; and the LORD accepted Job’s prayer.
In that text, God shows mercy to Eliphaz, Bildad and Zophar. They have committed the grave sin of misrepresenting God. They said things about God that were not true. May I say parenthetically that the possibility of my saying untrue things about God makes me tremble. And that is why for every sermon that I prepare I pray that God would help me say what is right and true and helpful. And if I say anything that is wrong or displeasing to him, that he would give you the congregation the grace to forget that and let it slip quickly from your minds. God forbid that I, standing here as God’s representative, should misrepresent him and through that do damage to your souls.
Sometimes I have heard God’s representatives ask people to imagine what God would say to them if he were present and spoke to them audibly. Almost always it is something nice and reassuring about his love and fondness of them. I don’t think I have ever heard a preacher tell his congregants to imagine God saying to them what he said to Eliphaz, “I am angry with you.” I wonder what went through Eliphaz’s mind when God said, “I am angry with you and your friends.” Eliphaz and the two others had been arguing with Job, trying to get him to see the light and repent of his sins. But then God says to him, “Job was right and you’re wrong. I’m mad at you.”
But thanks be to God - even in his righteous anger there is mercy. Of course to receive that mercy we must do what he says. God tells Eliphaz, “Take 7 bulls and 7 rams and go to Job. Offer sacrifices.” I imagine they probably also had to say something like, “Job, I’m sorry.”
But even that is not all. God isn’t done. He says, Job will pray for you and I will accept his prayer. Once again God requires a prayer to seal the action. Just like in the Abimelek story. God required a prayer that did not inform him, advise him or change his mind. But God still wanted it. He commanded it even. Then upon hearing those prayers, he acted upon his promise to restore Abimelek’s household and rescind his wrath upon Eliphaz, Bildad and Zophar.
God still requires prayers he does not need. When I was about 10 years old, I was in the backseat of the car that my dad was driving. Mom was next to him. Suddenly, the car engine caught fire. Flames were shooting out from the under the hood. My dad pulled over immediately. He popped the hood and did his best to put out the fire, slapping at the flames with a rag. Some of the flames skipped out onto the ground and burned up some of the oil or gas on the pavement. Some of that flame singed hairs off my dad’s legs but his pants didn’t catch fire and his flesh did not burn. The fire died down. Dad put it out, and we were safe. Damaged car but we were ok.
Things got interesting the next day. My aunt Ethel, Ethel Burns – yes her last name was “Burns,” ironically enough, called my mother, her sister, and said, “Was your family in any danger last night around 7 o’clock?” My mom told her about the car fire and Ethel said, “It was right around that time that I knew I had to pray for you. The feeling was so strong that I had to stop what I was doing and go off by myself to the other room to pray for the Lundquist family.”
Here’s my question. Did Aunt Ethel need to alert God that our family was in danger? “Wake up, God, the Lundquists need your help!” Of course not. God was the one who alerted her to pray. He knew the situation, he knows everything. But rather than intervening directly, it pleased God to tap my Aunt Ethel on the shoulder and move her to pray for our protection. Then, in response to that prayer, he acted to protect us.
Why do you suppose God requires these prayers that clearly he does not need? I believe it is worth thinking about that question because it seems to me that some habits of prayer or traditions of prayer reflect a poor understanding of God and how we relate to him. Sometimes our prayers are more pagan than Christian. Jesus warned us not to pray like the pagans. In Matthew 6:7 he said, "When you pray, do not keep babbling like pagans, for they think they will be heard because of their many words."
When we pray, we are not telling God something he does not know. 1 John 3:20 says God knows all things. When we pray, we are not counseling God, we’re not offering him advice so he’ll do the right thing. He is wiser than we. His thoughts are above our thoughts. Paul writes, “Oh the depths of the riches of the wisdom and knowledge of God!
And when we pray, we are not rousing God from his lethargy or cajoling him or pressuring him to do what we want through sheer force of will and a show of numbers. That seemed to be the attitude of the pagan prophets of Baal in 1 Kings 18. Four hundred of them prayed to Baal for hours. They shouted loudly. They cut themselves with swords and spears to get Baal’s attention. Elijah made fun of them saying “Shout louder!... Maybe he is deep in thought, or busy, or traveling. Maybe he is sleeping and must be awakened.”
But when God responded favorably to Abraham, and Job, and Elijah, and Aunt Ethel, it was just one person praying one short prayer.
Suppose you have a prayer request. Something dear to your heart. You have 10 people agree to pray for that. Is that enough or would you like to get 100 people to pray for it? Why stop at a 100 - a thousand would be even better! Go on social media and get perhaps many thousands more.
Be careful. It is good to pray to God, it is good for thousands of people to pray to God. But I am urging Christians to consider the question “Why? Why do you want many people praying repeated prayers – the same prayer for the same thing over and over again?” Because if the motivation is, “Well prayer is power, and 10 people praying – that’s not enough oomph. It’s like signing a petition drive. If the governor of Illinois receives a petition with 100 signatures he can ignore that. But if it has 500,000 signatures, then he’ll sit up and take notice. That’ll get his attention. We’ve got to get God’s attention and let him know we’re serious.”
I’m sorry, that is pagan. That is a sub-Christian view of God.
When the Apostle Paul had a thorn in the flesh - whatever that was - he prayed 3 times for God to take it away. Not hundreds of times. Three times. And when God said, “My grace is sufficient for you,” Paul did not say, “Well I’ll just have to contact the churches to put me on their prayer lists and generate more prayer power to push God past his reluctance so he’ll give me what I need.”
Prayer is not about us getting what we want but about God getting what he wants. I don’t think Abraham wanted to pray for Abimelek and his family. That wasn’t the top item on Abraham’s prayer list. But that is what God wanted. I don’t think Job wanted to pray for his friends’ forgiveness given how badly they had treated him. But that is what God wanted him to pray. If we were to look at Job’s prayer request list, I imagine it would include things like relief from painful skin boils, restoration of lost property, a more sympathetic wife. (She had told him to curse God and die.) Maybe God wanted him to pray for those things too, I don’t know. I do know that God wanted him to pray for his mean-spirited friends. That’s in the Bible. The best prayers are the ones that God tells us to pray, the prayers that God inspires within us.
There is a wonderful verse, Ephesians 5:10, that I wish would receive more attention. It says, “Find out what pleases the Lord.” Find out what pleases the Lord. You already know what pleases you. You know what you want. But that is not what prayer is about. Prayer is about what pleases the Lord. Find out what God wants. Ask him that. Say, “God, what do you want me to pray for?” Search the Scriptures, and you will see repeated descriptions of what God wants - the will of God, the desire of God - and those are always pretty safe things to pray for.
For example 1 Thessalonians 4:3 says it is the will of God that you be holy and abstain from sexual immorality. So if I pray for holiness I know I’m praying for something God wants. Or if I pray for people to repent and be saved. 2 Peter 3:9 says that God is not willing that any should perish, but that all should come to repentance. Or if I deliberately pray for my enemies. Jesus said, "Bless those who curse you, pray for those who mistreat you." (Luke 6:28). Or if I pray for God to send out missionaries. Jesus said "Ask the Lord of the harvest, therefore, to send out workers into His harvest." (Matthew 9:38)
Or if I pray the Lord’s Prayer. The disciples of Jesus said, “Teach us to pray,” and Jesus said “Pray this.”
I don’t know in advance if the things that I want are the same things that God wants. I don’t know how well those things align or overlap with each other. But I do know from Scripture that God requires prayers for the things that he wants, and that it is my duty as a pray-er to find those things out to the degree that I can, and to pray those prayers.
The question that I posed from the beginning still remains though. Why would an all-powerful, all-wise God call forth the prayers of weak, sinful, foolish mortals like us? Aren’t those prayers superfluous? What do they accomplish? I confess to you that one of my sinful temptations is to say to God, “God, you know what to do – just do it. I trust you, you don’t need my input.”
That’s disobedience masquerading as faith. God demands our input. But why?
I can think of 3 quick reasons for what it’s worth. One is just a simple matter of human reconciliation. Imagine Abimelek summoning Abraham. I suppose he’d like to give Abraham a piece of his mind. “You dirty liar. You know what you put me and my family through? Take your ‘sister’ and get out of here!” Instead Abimelek has to say, “Abraham, your God appeared to me. I need you to pray for me. Please.” They bow their heads together and Abraham prays, and there is a restoration through forgiveness and trust that would not have occurred without that prayer.
Similarly, I think of Eliphaz, shaking in his boots, pale as a ghost. He goes to Job with a bunch of sacrifices and says, “Job, I’m sorry. Look, God is mad at me. Could you pray for me?” Job is a righteous man, and he prays for Eliphaz and others. They are forgiven, and friendship is restored.
More than 40 years ago Pastor E. V. Hill from Watts Los Angeles told a group of us college students that there was a woman in his church who was antagonistic toward him, and made life difficult for him with her complaints. He said, “The feeling was mutual.” But one day she approached him and said that in her woman’s Bible study group they agreed to pray for the staff members of the church. They put the names of church leaders on slips of paper and put them in a hat, and when it was her turn she drew out the name E. V. Hill. She thought, Rats. I don’t want to pray for him. But later she told him, “Now that I have been praying for you, I don’t hate you anymore.” And he said, “Praise God for that! I guess I’ll have to try it on you.”
A second possible reason why God requires prayer for things he can do all by himself. He wants to partner with us, fellowship with us. This is a stunning feature of his character that prompted the Psalmist to ask, “What is man that thou art mindful of him, the son of man that thou visitest him?” Who are we that God should stoop down to our level and care about us and even involve us in his work?
It is one of the many indications of his love for us that he includes us in his work. We can get some idea of this in the way that we relate to our own children if we love them. A good father has his 5-year-old help him wash the dishes or rake the leaves even though the little boy’s clumsiness contributes little of value and the father could actually get the work done more efficiently if he worked alone. But efficiency is not the end goal. Love is. 1 Timothy 1:5: “The goal of this commandment is love from a pure heart.”
Perhaps my proudest moment as a father came when my son Ben was in 6th grade. His teacher divided the 24 students into 6 groups for group projects. She selected her 6 best students as leaders of the groups, and Ben was one of those, and she had the rest count off – 1,2,3,4,5,6 etc to be divided into the different groups. By luck of the draw Ben wound up with the 3 weakest students in class, including two special needs students who had been mainstreamed into the regular curriculum. The teacher told us that her other leading students would have complained about those assigned partners or just done the whole project themselves without bothering to involve them. But she said, “Ben immediately sized up the situation and gave to these weaker students tasks that they could handle so that they could contribute to the project and be a part of it.” And then she said, “I knew Ben had a good mind. But that’s when I found out he also had a good heart.”
Well in this case God is the one who has a good heart, and we are the hapless, confused special needs students to whom he stoops and says, “I have a job for you. I want to include you. And you need to do it this in order for the project to get done. Your contribution is required. Your job is to pray.”
One last reason why God wants us to pray prayers he does not really need. Thanksgiving. It is good to give thanks. Psalm 92:1 says, “It is good to give thanks to the Lord, and to sing praises to your name, O Most High.”
When we pray for something and God answers, we give thanks – or at least we should. It’s a horrible selfish tragedy if we pray for something and God grants it and then we don’t even bother to say thank you. We see that in the story of the 10 lepers Jesus healed in Luke 17. Only one of the 10 praised God and returned to Jesus to give thanks.
Answered prayer is a cause for rejoicing and thanksgiving. So God requires prayers that he wants to answer so that we can give thanks and be glad participants in his eternal joy. That is all for our good and his glory. Thankless people are miserable. But people who pray the prayers God draws forth from them and that he delights to answer will find within themselves a steady stream of ongoing joy.
I close with this thought. This is something I believe in my heart though I acknowledge that it will be hard to embrace in moments of disappointment and woe. Christians can rejoice when God says “Yes” to our prayer requests. But we can rejoice even more when he says “No.” Because that can only mean that what he has in store is better than saying “Yes” to our prayer.
Let us pray.
God, teach us to pray. Call forth from us the requests you want to hear and delight to answer. Delete by your grace our foolish requests that spring from narcissistic self-regard and have no concern for your glory. Thank you for stooping to include us in your work. Remind us to give thanks when you say yes to our prayers, and to trust your wisdom and goodness when you say no. In Jesus name, Amen.
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