Sunday, October 29, 2006

Signs Of Revival (October 29, 2006)

Our hardworking committee has fixed a time and a place for a church-wide retreat: August 10-12 at Turkey Run State Park in Indiana. I rejoice. Turkey Run is one of my favorite places - I take the boys there about once a year for hiking and canoeing.

And the date is perfect! It is during the time of the Perseids meteor shower, which usually peaks in the early morning hours of August 12. Every year for the past five years I have wanted to go to some isolated spot far from Chicago to view it, but there has always been cloud cover, or a full moon, or I've had duties the next day which prohibited a middle-of-the-night excursion. Hopefully in August of 2007 I'll get to see the shooting stars I've missed for half a decade. I look forward to the pre-dawn sky-gazing already.

I'm grateful that our committee has made plain that the purpose of the retreat is not mere recreation but renewal: as individuals and as a church we want to draw closer to God. This is very good indeed. Every church has its strengths and weaknesses - one of our weaknesses is that we have tended to be better at assembling people for social events than spiritual ones. A retreat for the sake of pursuing God's will is exactly what we need.

But how will we know, at the end of it, if we have been revived?

I have three measurement criteria that will help us move beyond the subjective "That was so refreshing!" to the objective "That benefited our church and its ministries - we have moved closer to God." My list:

Prayer
I've pushed the Wednesday night prayer meeting for years now, but sadly it is still the case that I am the only member of Faith Bible Church who attends it. Will August 15, 2007, be the date on which my prayers are answered, and long-time members join with newcomers to praise God and offer their requests?

Tithing
I remain deliberately ignorant of what individuals give, but it is not hard to calculate that our weekly offerings still do not add up to 10 percent of what our people earn. Will August 19, 2007, see a dramatic spike in the church's income?

Hospitality
Someone indicated to me a while ago that Faith Bible Church was simply not ready to respond to my pleas to invite visitors into our homes. Will that change in the fall of 2007 after our summer renewal?

I choose to have high hopes and demonstrably fulfillable expectations about the results of next year's retreat. Of course, it goes without saying that if anyone prefers to get revived and renewed ahead of time, that's fine too.

Sunday, October 22, 2006

Grieving Children (October 22, 2006)

I don't know what grief counselors do. Every time there is a tragedy at a school, the news media report that grief counselors have been made available to the students. I always wonder, "What in the world do they say to the kids?"

In the film The Shadowlands, C. S. Lewis' brother Warren berates him for not talking to his stepson, Douglas, whose mother, Lewis' wife, has just died. (I don't know if the scene has any basis in fact.) As I recall the dialogue, Lewis, in grief himself, says, "I have nothing to say to him." Warren won't let him off the hook. He shouts, "TALK to him!" Lewis obeys, and stepfather and stepson meet together and cry.

On a few occasions I have been asked to speak to distraught children. Though I talk for a living - it's what I do - it seems that this particular duty is one of many that reveal my inadequacy. In discussing one hard case with a pastor friend, he said, "I wouldn't know what to say." I thought, oh no. If he doesn't know what to say (and he's really good at this), then who does? A stanza from the dark theme song of M*A*S*H came to mind:

A brave man once requested me
To answer questions that are key
"Is it to be or not to be?"
And I replied, "Oh why ask me?"


Jesus made a point of welcoming children who were brought to him. "Let the little children come to me, and do not hinder them, for the kingdom of heaven belongs to such as these." (Mark 10:14). I don't know what he said to them. The text says that he took them in his arms and blessed them. Maybe he did not have to say a whole lot. I wonder if in that crowd of parents there were young widows whose lives felt ruined, or single dads whose wives had become whores. Was it all joyous, or did bereaved and wounded parents turn tear-stained faces to the Lord and say, "Would you please bless my child"?

Greet and bless hurting children. It is easy to bypass or overlook them, because you don't know what to say. Even so, speak to them. It may help.

Sunday, October 15, 2006

Hospitality Works (October 15, 2006)

I'll never forget the Sunday when I was 13 and I went with my Baptist parents to visit a Christian Reformed church. We were looking for a new church and somebody had recommended this fellowship to us.

After Sunday School several people (deacons!) stepped out into the parking lot to smoke cigarettes. (Baptists don't smoke - our bodies are temples of the Holy Spirit.) Then during the service the pastor baptized a baby! I thought, "Obviously we're not coming back here next week."

Then in the car on the way home Mom and Dad shocked me by saying how happy they were with the worship service and the people. We went back the next week, and the week after, and became members. How in the world did Baptists wind up at such a non-Baptist church? Because the Word of God was faithfully preached and the people were unbelievably nice to us from the moment we stepped in the door. We were invited into their homes immediately.

Eight years later as a missionary trainee with Wycliffe Bible Translators, I arrived early one Sunday morning at a large evangelical church in Grand Forks, North Dakota. I hung around the narthex and went to Sunday School and the service. Not one person so much as said "hello" to me the whole time. Just before I left I was washing my hands in the restroom when the person at the sink next to me greeted me and we talked and I thought "Finally! Someone here has the courtesy to greet a visitor." But then he told me he was a first-time visitor himself. I never went back.

Two years later I arrived with my wife in Urbana, Illinois, and, out of some obligation, we visited a church that we had no intention of going to long-term. But we were greeted kindly and were immediately invited to a member's home, and that is the church we attended for the duration of our stay in Urbana.

Twelve years later when I was pastoring a church in Melrose Park, Illinois, I took a phone call from a middle-aged woman in the neighborhood who was distressed about some spiritual issue. We talked and I read to her some Scriptures. I invited her to come to church on Sunday, and she surprised me by saying she had visited before, but... "But what?" I asked. "I don't want to offend you," she said. "No, no, please, speak freely," I said, as I thought, Oh boy, what did I do now?

She said, "Well, the people of your church are so unfriendly!" and my heart sank through the floor. I knew she was right. More than once from the pulpit I had spotted visitors sitting by themselves in the pew, and afterward they would file out by themselves as church members gathered in their groups and planned where they would go for lunch.

When you're stung by a fair criticism it is hard to know what to say. I probably answered her along the lines of a commercial I've seen lampooning bad cell phone companies: "That is a problem and we're working on it!"

Be hospitable. I preach hospitality because it is good and right and sweet and pleasant and honoring to God. I also preach it because, frankly, it grows churches.

Sunday, October 8, 2006

No Excuses For Inhospitality (October 8, 2006)

When I was installed as pastor of Faith Bible Church, I was asked what I expected of the congregation. I said, "I'll keep this simple and say just one thing: hospitality. When people visit the church, I want you to welcome them into your homes and take them out to lunch."

I know that I might have asked for other things, or given a list of "Top 5" or "Top 10" priorities, or mentioned an all-encompassing theme like "love for the Lord" or "devotion to Christ". But I made a deliberate decision to be specific. I wanted to give a quantifiable goal, something unique to my values (what you wouldn't necessarily hear from any pastor), something easily remembered, something we could look back on and ask, "How have we done in this area?"

That was three and a half years ago, and if I had to do it again, I would give the same answer. As Solomon asked God only for wisdom, so I ask the congregation only for hospitality. No one should be able to visit Faith Bible Church more than three times without being invited into our homes or out for lunch. Ideally this should take place on the very first Sunday the person visits.

Hospitality is hard for some people to practice - maybe even a nightmare for the very shy. But I will not for that or any other reason back off from my demand for it. Next week, Lord willing, I will give my rationale for this priority. This week I'll just speak to some common objections.

1) "My spouse refuses to have visitors in our home."
Then try inviting the person out for lunch at a neutral location.

2) "I live far away."
Ditto.

3) "My house is a mess."
Ditto. Or clean it. Or bite the bullet and invite them over anyway. Maybe their house is worse than yours.

4) "I'm single."
Then it may be difficult to invite a couple or family, and inappropriate to invite someone of the opposite sex. But you're ideal for inviting singles of the same gender.

5) "I value my privacy."
Shame on you. Stop valuing your privacy.

6) "I'm a social misfit - I can't imagine anyone wanting me to host them."
Welcome to the club. My social confidence is about a 2 out of 10. Look, sometimes social misfits visit the church. Maybe God has specially equipped you to connect with them.

7) "I just started attending here myself."
Great! That means that you haven't learned any of our bad habits.

8) "I serve the church in other ways."
Great! I thank God for you. Now start serving the church this way too.

9) "After the service on Sunday I'm busy/I work/there is a football
game I want to see."
Make an appointment with the visitor for later in the week.

10) "I just don't have the money to take someone out to lunch."
If this is your hindrance, then ask me, even at 12:10 PM on Sunday, and as surely as the Lord lives, with God as my witness, if I have it I will give you the money to take someone out to lunch that afternoon. And if I don't have the cash I will loan you my credit card. I'm serious.

Be hospitable.

Sunday, October 1, 2006

The Duty Of Public Reproach (October 1, 2006)

A seminary professor of mine was involved in a church discipline case and was disturbed that the elder board had determined to keep the matter quiet, handling it themselves. In relating the story to us he quoted 1 Timothy 4:20: "Those who sin are to be rebuked publicly, so that the others may take warning."

The professor had a point. The Bible says that sinners are to be rebuked publicly. When was the last time you heard of a church member being publicly rebuked for grotesque sin? Maybe never. We're literally afraid to obey this command. Maybe the disciplined member will sue us! Maybe he will retaliate by splitting the church, gathering to himself sympathizers who hate church leaders for being so mean and puritanical. To rebuke a sinner is to open a can of worms - it is so much easier to leave the can sealed and move it off to the side.

That is what dozens of Roman Catholic bishops did when they learned about sexually abusive priests under their jurisdiction. They just quietly moved them to other parishes. What they needed to do was rush to the chancel at first opportunity and announce, "I'm sorry to say that Father So-And-So is a sick evil pedophile. We rebuke him in the name of the Lord. He is being defrocked."

How many thousands of boys would have been saved from subsequent abuse if the Catholic Church had done this, if it had just been willing to rake its creepy perverts over public coals of shame? St. Paul was right - others take warning from such examples. Some then will refrain from abuse not because they fear God or love holiness but because they are terrified of public condemnation. This is a good thing.

I don't mean to pick on Catholics; Protestants can be just as bad. I just finished a truly awful book, Broken On The Back Row by adulteress Sandi Patty. Multi Dove- and Grammy-Award winning Patty cheated on her husband with a married man, divorced him, lied to everybody about the affair for years, then married the man she had the affair with! Her church "dealt with" the issue privately (though it never, and still has not, excommunicated her for the adulterous remarriage. See Mark 10:12: "And if she divorces her husband and marries another man, she commits adultery.").

The leaders of Patty's church finally brought the matter to the congregation only when Christianity Today published the story of Patty's infidelity and lies. Then the pastor had the gall to rebuke CT for "gossiping"! If I were I to speak to him, I would say, "Friend, the problem here is not CT's faithful publication of the truth. The problem is adultery, lies, church-complicit cover-up, and your ongoing defiance of Mark 10:12."

Public reproach is as much a church's duty as is public forgiveness and restoration.